At the Fem11 conference last weekend I attended a workshop chaired by End Violence Against Women (EVAW) - a coalition calling for ‘urgent action to end all forms of violence against women and girls’. The session was a highlight of the day for me and provided a platform for a lively debate on the factors that contribute to violence.
A key area for concern amongst all of us was the need to educate the next generation in how to treat each other with respect - that young women are not sluts, that rape ‘jokes’ aren’t funny, that it’s okay not to be macho, that femininity is not bad (for boys or girls). As part of this discussion EVAW shared the video they’d created with ad agency Kream that’s aimed at young men and that they hope will trigger discussion amongst teenage boys.
Personally, I think this video is great but reaction amongst the attendees was mixed. Many thought, like I do, that it was pitched perfectly to appeal to its target audience. You get sucked into the Jackass-esque stunts so when the rape comment comes, it’s shocking and the silence that follows is incredibly effective. I like that the young man who makes the comment is treated as if he’s said something offensive and inappropriate but also that he is a lone voice - all the other young men in the video distance themselves from him. It gives a strong message that young men can and should stand up to this kind of behaviour. That they don’t have to go along with it and it’s not funny. Crucially, I like the message that ‘this is not who we are’. Most men do treat women with respect but it’s sometimes the vocal minority who make the most noise. Unless their comments are challenged, it can sometimes feel like the minority are bigger than they really are and this video allows young men to point out that those voices do not represent them.
Some in the group felt that the video played into old stereotypes of young men as being physical, pulling stunts and generally idiotically goofing around. However, the three men in the session disagreed. They felt that it may be a stereotype but that the clips were really funny (I laughed at several of them) and that they’d appeal to the young men the video was aimed at. These three men didn’t feel they were the target audience (being the type of men who’d give up their Saturday to attend a feminist conference) but could see it being effective with those it was seeking to address.
I also think, as did someone else in the session, that the final scene subverted that stereotype. The boys may be goofing around on skateboards etc. but they are clearly not idiotic and ‘laddish’, as they challenge the one young man who does make the rape comment and therefore conform to that image. The message of We Are Man is that ‘we’ can be men but that doesn’t mean we support violence against or harassment of women.
The video was actually released in June so I don’t know if it’s gone viral or been as big as EVAW would have liked. The Independent did cover its release but the comments online show that many were determined not to see the message. Several spoke of the feminist agenda in painting all young men as violent or rapists, but I don’t think the video did this at all. In fact I think it did the opposite, showing that most young men don’t feel represented by that one who made the comment. The point of the video is to show that young men can challenge exactly that view.
I hope the online commenters were from an older generation who only saw what they wanted to and that the next generation can do better. It’s crucial that we teach young people that treating men and women (boys and girls) with respect is the only way that violence and harassment will end. Abusing each other for being girls, sluts, thugs, gay is just contributing towards perpetuating the cycle that leads to hyper-macho men lashing out at their partners and children, and it has to end.
I hope this video continues to be shared and provokes more discussion on how we can achieve this.
