Stop Whistling, Start Listening

Book review: How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

I’ve recently finished reading one of the funniest books I’ve read in quite some time – the brilliant How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran.

I remember Caitlin Moran when she first started to write for Melody Maker, at the age of 16. At the time I hated her and found her quite annoying but this was solely because I was 16 and loved music but was not writing for Melody Maker. 

Twenty years later though, and I appreciate how truly fabulous she is. How To Be A Woman is part-memoir, part-feminist life lesson. In it Moran uses stories of growing up, her teenage years, experiences in the workplace, her love life and having children to illustrate her views on how to be a woman and what she’s learned over the years. It is laugh-out-loud funny but always so, so true to the experiences of most women I know.

Crucially Moran is a proud, in her words, STRIDENT FEMINIST (and at times, saying it in caps is important). She brilliantly explains why this should be the case for all women but recognises why women don’t always want to claim the word. These days it’s hard to find a definition of what a feminist is, and to separate it from the baggage attached to it in the media, so I’d like to share Moran’s ‘quick way of working out if you’re a feminist’

Put your hand in your pants.

a)      Do you have a vagina? And

b)      Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.

In fact, she encourages readers to stand on a chair, in the privacy of their own home, and proclaim that they are a feminist, as a way of owning the word and feeling less intimidated by saying it. (As an aside, I shared this tale with some friends over drinks recently, prompting one of them to immediately stand on a chair in the bar and proclaim ‘I’m a feminist’. I’d forgotten to add the bit about doing it at home in private. I love her).

Humour aside, Moran also uses her experiences in the workplace to examine the casual sexism that occurs there.  She details the way women have to constantly worry about how they’re being perceived, based on how they dress in both. An infuriating experience but one many women relate to as some men judge the level of conversation they deem appropriate according to the clothes being worn by the women in their company.

However, one of my favourite parts of the book is her discussion on the dreaded ‘signs of aging’. Men are encouraged to embrace them, as grey hair makes them look distinguished, wise and world-weary. For women, they’re supposed to hide these signs. Moran however likens them to the warning colours on a wasp.

Lines are your weapons against idiots. Lines are your ‘KEEP AWAY FROM THE WISE INTOLERANT WOMAN’ sign.

This is how it should be as we recognise experience comes with age. Wrinkles reflect life experience. 

While most of the book continues in this vein, funny and smart, some parts of the book delve into tougher to read territory. She describes, in quite graphic detail, her experience of childbirth having had two children. For those of us who have not had children but still hope to, it’s uncomfortable and terrifying reading. Fortunately her second birth was a better experience but at least readers can learn from her words in terms of how to approach it (positive attitude appears to be crucial). 

Perhaps more shocking, she also takes readers through her experience of abortion. I love her honesty in this section as she describes her reasons for having an abortion and her lack of guilt at this decision. She takes readers through exactly how it physically felt to have her abortion in a section guaranteed to destroy the myth about whether women do it as an easy form of contraception. 

The whole book just feels like an honest reflection of the challenges women and STRIDENT FEMINISTS experience throughout our lives. Which makes it sound really serious and sincere. Instead, it’s really very, very funny and should be required reading for most women.